I'm no longer working out at such an ungodly hour. Nathan and I switched and came to an agreement. He works out whichever mornings he wants and I am on evenings. Which he likes because he didn't go in the evenings and he can go later in the mornings that I had to. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I usually go at 5:15 for a class and then workout more afterwards. And then On Mondays and Wednesdays I am waiting until after we eat dinner and spend a little time before going. It's basically put Nathan in charge of night duty 4 nights a week but he says that is fine with him. I was enjoying it the first week and this week has been harder. The evenings were the only time we had as a family and I feel like I'm missing out of time with them so it's harder to leave.
Working out has been harder than I've thought. I was never a big girl in highschool, but I wasn't super skinny either. I had thicker thighs and a "full" bottom. The summer between my freshman year of college and my sophmore year, I lost over 15 pounds. I wasn't working out and I wasn't really watching what I was eating. I just didn't eat that much. Then I was able to keep it off for several years. After having Addison, it was only a couple of months before I was back down. Again, without as much work. But after I quit pumping this past Spring, I just began putting on weight. Then this summer we were out of town a lot and I didn't eat as good as I should and ate too much. I have been trying for over 2 months now to get back down and I lost 3 pounds and then gained it back and a couple more.
It's been frustrating to work so hard and not get results. And it isn't just a number, it's the fact that my clothes don't fit because I always wore them on the tighter side. I finally broke down and bought some new pants because most of them I could no longer button. Very sad day for me!! But I'm working on it. Buying bigger pants was a big deal to me and pushed me to try harder. So although I am a little sad about missing family time, I'm determined to try my best.
(I realize that I'm not fat and that some would be happy to be my size. I believe that as long as your ideal weight-desire is realistic and healthy, it is a personal choice. I wasn't underweight before and I felt good about myself. And after dealing with a lower self esteem, being 15-20 pounds heavier can seem like a much bigger deal to me. So I just want to get back down close to that weight before adding about 30 pounds of pregnancy weight again!)
Good luck with it all! I know it can be frustrating. I can't seem to lose weight anymore--just maintaining. My problem is I could eat better than I do. :) If it makes you feel better, I gained less weight with each pregnancy. Landon was about 30lbs, Noah 26lbs, and Lilah 22-23lbs. :)
ReplyDeleteOh how I miss working out. I know that may sounds strange..this is the first month I've gone without being at the gym..but with the house and school there is NOOO way I am able to make it to the gym. I'll be back at it in January! Keep up the work. Don't you just feel better though? It helps me sleep and I just feel happier when being able to release all those endorphins!
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard to be away from your family but just know that the relationship that Nathan and Addison are building now is priceless. It's helping them grow closer and closer.
ReplyDeleteI think it's good you want to stay in shape. Even "skinny" people have a lot og health problems. So instead of looking at is as losing weight. It's keeping yourself healthy!
Jen, you have always looked awesome but I totally agree about being comfortable with whatever size seems right to you because after all, it is YOUR body. So I encourage you in every endeavor you take in this and hope that you can achieve your goals.
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