Being a mother is one of the most rewarding and amazing jobs I could ever think of. I LOVE staying at home with Addison Grace every day and would be heartbroken if someone else had to raise her. I am so thankful that I am blessed with the ability to stay at home with her! Anyone who stays at home with their kids, knows that as wonderful as it can be, there are days that we want to rip our hair out before the evening comes. Not a day passes that my heart doesn't beam with pride with that first morning smile. I love it! But there are many nights that I am so thankful when she finally falls asleep! I was sharing with my friend the other day that if a mother doesn't ever have days that she is annoyed with her child, she obviously isn't spending enough time with her kids! haha And while I still believe there are going to be hard days...I have kind of had a change of heart.
The other day Addison was up before 6am and I just finished feeding her and we were playing on the floor of the living room. I turned on the tv and happened to see Joyce Meyer. (She is one of my favorite Christian woman speakers.) And she was talking about seeking God's will for our lives and living with passion. One of her examples were stay at home moms! She explained that God has given us this job and we are live it with passion. It really got me thinking. "Do I live each day as a mother who loves her job?? Am I living with Passion?" The answer was a very clear no. Lately I have found myself complaining a lot. Too much. I find myself being jealous when I see babies sleeping soundly in their car seats because my baby never did. I get mad when she wakes up in the middle of the night for the second time. And so on. Addison has such a fun personality. She smiles all day long and is so cute! But she isn't an easy baby. Breastfeeding was a nightmare, she still doesn't nap, she stopped eating solids for a month, and so on. But really...who cares. Things are going to come and go and there will be good days and bad. And what I realized is that I can choose to be negative and complain all the time or I can rejoice!
There is a new country song out that explains how quickly a child's phases pass. And I pretty much cried through the whole song! Every time Addison does something new I rejoice with her and then part of me is sad inside because I realize how quickly she is growing up. She is standing up on everything and now doing it with one hand. My precious baby will be 8 months old in three days. It's happening so fast! From the day she was born I have a made it a point to take her in my arms and tell her, "I love you so much Addison! I am so thankful that I have you in my life!" So I'm not saying that I take her for granted by any means. But I am tired of complaining all the time. My house is a mess and it drives me crazy that I don't have time to have it cleaned the way I like it, but I can either be frustrated or I can accept that it didn't happen today and maybe it will tomorrow.
Will there be days that I'm frustrated? Yes. Will I complain? Yes. It's hard to be happy when you are running on very little sleep. But from now on, I'm going to try and do it a lot less. I've always wanted to be a mother and I am. So I am going to act more like this was my dream and live as a Mother of Passion!!
You go girl! Believe me, they are right when they say it passes all too quickly. Before you know it they are grown with children of their own and you have a clean house but empty arms. Enjoy even the rough days and praying they are fewer and farther apart for you.
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