Too often I focus on what others might think of me. Honestly, my focus isn't what positive things they are saying about me...but the possible negatives. But what is even worse...the negative thoughts the enemy whispers to me that I allow. I look in the mirror and most of the time I don't like what I see. Inward and Outward. I feel ugly, unattractive, not godly enough, not the wife I should be, not really the mother I want to be all the time...I think about what I see and instead of focusing on all the wonderful things about me, I take the small things and magnify them. Dwell on them.
The other day I was cleaning and praying and I felt like the Holy Spirit was just sharing with me and the idea for this blog came to me. What if I looked at myself with the eyes of those closest to me?
My kids: My kids would probably see a woman who is more important to them than anyone in the world. They would see a women who tends to their every need and a lot of their wants. Someone who takes care of them and loves them. Their parent with the softest heart. A mother that is teaching them and seems to know most of the answers they have. Someone who is trying to teach them about living a healthy lifestyle. They would see a woman who is silly and loves to have fun with them. If I could look at myself through my children's eyes...I would feel important and necessary.
Nathan: I blame some of the troubles I have with Nathan on past circumstances or events that don't have anything to do with him. I have doubts and fears that are not justified in regards to him, but never the less, they are things that I am working through with God's help. I wish that I could see myself through Nathan's eyes. If so, I would probably start REALLY believing that I'm beautiful and that he would never leave me. I would see the potential in me that he sees.I would have freedom to trust and not worry so much.
And then as I thought about all this, I took it further...
What if I could see myself through GOD'S EYES? - I wish that I could even fathom the love that God has for me. What then would I see in myself? Here is a God who has given me so much, who provides for me, who watches over me, who has blessed me with all the things I wanted in a husband and children...A GOD WHO DIED FOR ME! Why should I feel so unnecessary? Why should I be sad and allow the enemy to direct my thoughts on things that would make me feel less than worthy? God knew me before I was born. He knew the sins I would commit, the thoughts I would have, the person I would become, and yet he still chose to die for me so that I could have eternal life in Heaven!! As I let these words wash over me, I felt like the Holy Spirit was encouraging me. It's too easy to focus on all the negative. It takes work to focus on the positive...but if I would, I sure would be a lot happier!
Lord, please help me to focus on the positive and see myself through your eyes and please help me to see others through your eyes!
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