Why I chose a home birth

Warning: This will probably be long and it wont be the most articulate because I'm flying off the cuff with whatever comes to my mind at this moment. I only have so long before the kids wake up! Also this is MY personal opinion so you don't have to agree.

If you had told me a few years ago that I would have a home birth I would never have believed it. That seemed like something more for the hippie radicals or little house on the prairie types. But I've learned a lot in the past few years and I am neither of those types, just an informed woman who came to believe in the natural process of birth.

Let's go back to the beginning...when I was pregnant with Addison, I had no idea about pregnancy, birth or thereafter. I had planned to breastfeed because it seemed like the natural way to feed your child but didn't have a clue how. A friend asked me to visit her mother's breastfeeding group. I thought that I was just going to learn a little about breastfeeding, but walked away with so much more! In the end, that group opened my eyes to so much about birth, helped me form lasting friendships, gave me my doula that later became my midwife, and offered much needed support. At my first meeting the topic of an epidural came up in a negative tone and some comments were made about how it can decrease your chances of successfully breastfeeding and complications during labor. (What?! But it can't be that bad right? I mean, labor hurts and I want the drugs!) Well I decided that I REALLY needed to do some research! That got the ball rolling. I really don't want this blog to be all about medical statistics so I will let you do the research on your own. But my conclusion was that I was going to attempt a natural birth in the hospital and I would use a midwife instead of a doctor. (Because that's the safe place to have a baby...right?)

My birth experience with Addison was nice. In fact it was pretty much all that I had hoped for. While in labor I spent some time in the shower at the hospital and it felt so good on my back. Of course I was later asked to get in the bed as it got closer to time. But the water peaked my interest. I had written a birth plan and unlike most stories I've heard, it was followed. They did deny me water, but when they give you ice chips you can fill up your cup in the bathroom sink. (I think it's crazy to ask a woman going through labor to do all that physical exertion and not have anything to drink! anyways...) But right as it was time for Addison to be born, suddenly the bright lights came on, gloves, plastic, masks, medical trays, nurses, etc. It just got extremely medical. And while the moment of her arrival will always be a beautiful one to me, it didn't feel like that was how it was supposed to be. In the hospital I starting thinking more about how unnatural that seemed. While my birth itself was fine, I hated the hospital stay! The food, the constant bothering me while I was trying to sleep, the rough way the nurse bathed Addison for the first time, the gowns, the germs, the uncomfortable bed. Taking my baby away for two hours to lay under a lamp. Taking her away every night for a bath. Looking at me like I was crazy for not wanting to give a shot to my newborn. We were supposed to leave early that Saturday morning and it took HOURS for them to release us. It just wasn't something I enjoyed at all!

So I began doing some research before getting pregnant again about home birth. When I was pretty sure thats what I wanted, I approached Nathan. His first response, "Heck no!" but I asked him to keep an open mind. We watched videos and read articles together. I read a lot! And then we prayed about it. We felt at peace. We kept it a secret from everyone at first and then from most everyone until it happened. Mostly because I knew people would think we were nuts and we didn't want to hear uneducated opinions. (I say opinions because ALL facts lead to a home birth being safer and less likely to end in a c-section than a hospital birth.) I don't blame people for thinking that because we live in a country that has taken most of what is natural out of child birth. I was confident in a home birth because I am a low risk pregnant woman and because I had been through it before. I knew that I could give birth without any medicine. Does labor hurt, yeah it does. But God designed our bodies to do this and once it's over it's done. There are no side effects to you or your baby like in an epidural. And honestly, I'm scared to death at the idea of a c-section so I want to do everything in my power to avoid it. There are many reasons epidurals end in a c-section...affecting baby's heart rate, mother's heart rate, blood pressure, the list goes on and on. So what keeps me enduring the pain is knowing that I want to avoid that. To steal a quote, "There is a secret in our culture and it is not that birth is painful, but that women are strong."

My home birth wasn't exactly what I had thought it would be. I had pictured in my head giving birth at night, laboring for a long time alone with just Nathan, candles lit for lighting and aromatherapy. Well as you know I gave birth in the middle of the day and it was super fast! I did have my candles lit and I remember in one of the hardest contractions looking at them thinking, "Oh just blow them out they aren't doing anything!" haha But I was in too much pain to talk. I loved that there were only people at my birth that I knew and invited. I was offered things to drink the whole time. The tub of warm water felt so good in between the contractions. We cut the cord when I was ready. I got to do an herb bath with my son. I was the one who bathed him for the first time. My midwife did all of his newborn check up on the bed next to me so I could watch. She handled him with extreme care and love. He didn't have to wait under a heat lamp, we laid together in bed under a blanket. I wore my pjs and slept in my comfy bed. That night I got to visit with my family in the living room and eat dinner at the table. No one bothered me with vitals every 30 minutes. We didn't have to wait to be checked out.

Please don't misunderstand...I am not a fanatic. If a problem would have arose during labor we would have gone straight to the hospital. Our midwife comes prepared with oxygen and prescriptions filled in case of an emergency. I do not believe a home birth should be done in all cases. Some pregnancies are too risky. I am thankful that we have the ability to do c-sections in case of emergencies! I just have a very hard time believing that with a statistic of over 50% c-sections in our hometown hospital that those are all emergencies. I do not look down on anyone who has a c-section or hospital birth. This was my decision and my birth choice. I can't tell you how it is to birth at home in a bed, but the birthing tub was an awesome experience. For us, a home birth is the only way I would go if I had to do it again. I have turned my husband into a believer! He commented multiple times over the first several days about great the birth went and how great it was to already be home. I feel blessed to have the birth experience that I wanted because I know people don't get what they plan some times and I promise I don't take that for granted. And I encourage you that even if your other births ended a lot differently that you planned, to research your options instead of doing what others say you should do.

"Just as a woman's heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and her hand to pull back from fire, she knows when and how to give birth."