Have you ever stop to really think about your bathroom scale and why it means so much?

You walk over to your scale with hopes already lifting...hoping to see a certain number. If it's the number you want to see, suddenly you feel more positive. Today will be a good day. However, if you step on and it's higher than you wanted, suddenly your heart drops. The outfit you are about to put only suddenly makes you feel "fat". The outlook on the day and yourself seems darker. Why does something so small and a certain number hold so much "weight"?

It might surprise you to know...or maby it doesn't... but I put way too much stock into that bathroom scale. Gaining a couple of pounds brings me to tears. I cry over my appearance regularly. It's something that I've struggled with since I can remember. I was made fun of a LOT in highschool for different reasons. It's not something I share with most people. I still hear some of the comments made in my head and most of them I've never even told Nathan. My husband tells me I'm beautiful and I say "Thank you", but it doesn't take root. I don't believe that I am. When I look in the mirror, all I see are the things that I don't like.

I want to be healthy. I want to be in good shape. I believe in a healthy diet and excercise. But I want to stop putting so much thought into it. I'm tired of looking in the mirror before getting dressed and hating what I see. It's not healthy, it's not attractive, and it isn't pleasing to the Lord. My body is my gift from God. While we should care about taking care of it, it should not be where I find my confidence. Or the lack there of...

I decided recently that I want to take myself on a journey. A journey of self acceptance, confidence, and a positive attitude towards myself. I want to find beauty in the inperfections and truly feel that way. I want to find the beauty inside and out and learn to appreciate the gift that God has given me. I now know that this will not be accomplished my changing my body, but my changing my mind.